Babies in a disappointing world?

I'm getting old.

And the subject of having children has been coming up more and more for the past couple of years.

At first, I hated the idea of having kids. I felt they were an expensive burden that sucked the life out of you only to turn around 15 or 16 years later and tell you what a bad parent you'd been and how much they hated you. I vowed to never have kids and dreamed of having a life with minimal obligation- a life where I could do whatever I wanted.

But then, in my mid twenties, something changed, and suddenly the idea wasn't so far fetched. The responsibility and hassle didn't seem so terrifying either. I guess this kind of mentality shift is a biological trick played on young women to get them to reproduce. It worked, I'm much more open to the idea.

But now, I find myself struggling with the idea of becoming a parent.

On one hand, I think I would really enjoy having a child or two. I mean, you never know, they could invent some incredible machine or discover the cure for a disease that plagues our world. Plus, having a child would be kind of like a mini experiment, a front row view of human development, a way of remembering my own childhood and recreating that same sense of happiness and security.

But then there's this other side of things. The state of the world scares me. It seems everything has taken a turn for the worse. We're stuck in a "war," we've lost our jobs and our money, crime seems to be getting increasingly heinous, people have lost their minds and have become slaves to gadgets, and the media, and the entertainment industry...It seems things are getting worse and I don't see an improvement happening any time soon. Yes, I know that previous generations have lived through all kinds of catastrophe and strife and they have still managed to have kids and be happy- I owe my life to these past generations- but I wonder if having a child at this point in time would be a responsible choice. The world is over crowded enough as it is and in the coming years, everyone will be struggling to have access to basic needs like food and water. Plus, everything is poisoned with chemicals, infectious diseases are many times worse now, and it seems kids are kidnapped and murdered at an alarming rate. It just seems like having a child now would be like having a child and placing him in a cesspool to live out his life. Do people think about this? Is it just me?

Animals, or I should say, other animals scope out several places before they lay their eggs or give birth. They do the footwork (finwork, wingwork, etc) to make sure their babies have the best possible chance of survival...so I wonder, why don't humans don't do the same thing? I mean, sure, most people go out and buy a crib and a stroller, and they stock up on baby supplies and clothing, but what about the bigger picture? I guess if people had to wait for society and the economy to improve, nobody would ever have children again. I don't know. I just don't know if I have found the right place (or time) to bury my little eggs...the world seems too dangerous.

Back to square one on this one.